On June 1, 2013, I received two of the best gifts anyone could hope for: my chunky monkey nephew Julian was born AND I got a new job. Not only was my new school an awesome place to teach with wonderful kids, I also was blessed with one of the best principals in the district.
Alright. Enough of that Hallmark moment.
Now, I've always been blessed with amazing kids. Each of the 9 years that I have taught, my students are always the most brilliant (smart-alecks), hilarious (potty-humorists), and sweetest (by default) children on campus.
But as wonderful as ALL of my students are, the only thing they can drive is me crazy. After 9 years of teaching, I've been getting tired of telling my students the same thing over and over again with the same results semester after semester. I've decided to follow the old adage of, "It doesn't matter what but how you say it," with my students. I've decided to be the Ann I am outside of the classroom. I've been doing it for years!!! You know how I speak to Liam and the jacked up/inspirational things I say to him. Example: "Did you mean to roll your eyes at me? I would hate to think that my son, who I have spent the last 8 years taking care of, would ever roll his eyes at his mama?" OR "You don't have to eat your vegetables, Honey. I'm sorry that they aren't to your liking. But, guess how I am going to make that up to you? I'm going to have the best broccoli and cheese cereal for tomorrow's breakfast."
Being verbally creative helps me get the behavior I want from those around me. No, I'm not manipulative. I simply maneuver people via a verbal message with certain tones to get them to do what I want them to do. Addressing people in certain ways is a guarantee of attaining desired behavior. However, honesty is key because if you aren't honest then all you are doing is kissing their ask-me-no-questions. I'm going to be extremely honest while keeping the gloves on in hopes that it will sink in. Let's face it, the repeated requests or the tedious threats get us nowhere so taking it to the next level is the only way to achieve 100% compliance. I like to call it Blunt-Force Honesty, taking things to the next level in a patient, caring and honest manner.
Below are just a few of the exchanges I've had with my kiddos:
"Where are your supplies?" IS NOW: "Would you ask the person behind you in line for a few bucks so that you could get something to drink?"
"You will be giving a minimum of 3 memorized speeches." IS NOW "If you can remember all the words to whatever crappy song that you call music, then you can surely remember your outline plus your note cards while giving your informative speech."
"What happened to your clothes?" IS NOW "I'm not sure you can still call those jeans while they: {1} are that tight or {2} hang that low."
"I'm sorry, but did I hear you correctly? You want him to what???" IS NOW "Honey, I'm a lady, please watch your mouth." (Those of you who know me can laugh out loud now.)
"Why don't you ever have your school work?" IS NOW "Yes, it's obvious by the gigantic chip on your shoulder that you really don't care. Let me know how that's working out for you when I see you at Barnes & Noble in three years with the other kids who didn't care."
It never fails though that each semester I am faced with some tough situations. I'm humbled by the students who come to me to talk or those who will share in class. It's hard to hear some of the stories of heartache or hurt feelings these kids tell. I would love to fight their battles for them but some people have a problem with a grown woman It doesn't get any easier as the years go by, either. But, that's when Blunt-Force Honesty takes a turn.
Enjoy some of my most favorite exchanges of the personal nature:
"These things happen but it will be better tomorrow," IS NOW "It sucks and this isn't the only time you are going to feel this way. Nice guys will always finish last but only because every girl is waiting for them. Including the strumpet who finally decided that some men don't change."
"There are several points in our lives that we find out who our friends are. The first time is the one that hurts the most" IS NOW "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer in the event they are one in the same."
"I know you feel like your parents don't listen to you" IS NOW "Perhaps your parents aren't listening to you because your attitude is a little too loud."
"Maybe he'll call tomorrow" IS NOW "He's not busy doing homework or helping his dad. He isn't going to call. You'd be wearing his letter men's jacket for Foot/Basket/Base Ball if he was. He's with the girl who didn't call him."
Blunt-Force Honesty. Learn it. Know it. Live it. It works.
Just don't use it on me. I'm sensitive ;)
